Must Read: The Male Secretary (18 )

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: The Male Secretary (18 )

I woke up that morning feeling angry with myself for nothing, maybe I had a dream but I could not even remember a thing as I strolled into the bathroom, turned on the shower and allowed the water to wash out the sleep from my eyes. I took the tooth brush added a little tooth paste and started brushing my teeth with force enough to peel an elephant skin, I ended up brushing my blood instead of my teeth.

After taking my bath I went back into the room to dress up doing it slowly deliberately and watching the time. I’m supposed to leave the house by 5:30am in the morning. What a life I kept telling myself that morning.

Typical with Abuja. To beat up the numerous hold up, one has to be up and going and to avoid my salary being deducted, I had to leave early to beat the 7:35am time limit that was set. You come late, one day salary gone. You are absent even if your dad died, two days Bleeping salary gone. I had already lost interest in the job other than going there, sit in front of the computer, log onto Nairaland, facebook, skype and every application available.

I was done dressing. Na so I comot from inside house go outside go see as everywhere dark.

My heart come dey beat small small but as a big boy na so I just start to dey waka go junction wey I go enter car. E no tay na so car start to dey come for my back, I come raise my hand up point sky to show say na area one I dey go. The car slow down for me, I jump enter come relax put head for the head stand. Person don dey front and na only me dey back so I just dey enjoy the space until car slow down again come pick two people, one old man and one girl. Na so the girl first enter come siddon near me. Her perfume just dey sweet dey make me imagine the name.

I come move well well go the extreme end as another person come enter the car making us to complete 4 passengers for back. I turn look the girl face but the whole place still dark and e dey kind of impossible to see her face but from the way the side smooth, I just conclude say na fine girl I wan deal with for car. I just bone come relax small come say make I catch small sleep before the journey begin properly. As I put my head back come close eye na so dem start to dey make noise for car.

“Ah ah, see as subsidy bus wey dem just buy for January don already pack aside, na wetin cause am. People go just stand for car after im don full the whole place go come tight”
Na so another voice reply am:
“You think say na president una get, na dummy dem just carry give president and all of us vote am because of sentiment”
Na so I laugh come shake my head. I no dey guilty of that accusation because I no vote anybody and no get plan to vote for very long. I just do the voters card wey don even loss because them say person no go fit withdraw money from bank. Chei, Nigeria and propaganda.

“You should stop talking about your leader like that, after all it is God that put him there.

Remember what the bible say about no speaking against your leaders”
One fine voice just talk for my side. Pure English, no error and the accent self just dey like obodo oyibo own. For my mind na so I come dey wonder why she no get car but instead come dey occupy space with us inside this car.

“Madam, abeg that one na your own. If we see truth make we talk, all of us just carry vote go put for president wey im own na to kill Nigeria with sufferness. Why him go come remove subsidy for beginning of year. You know say I been dey stranded for village after I travel for xmas celebration. If no be God I for trek come back”.

Na so all of us just burst out with laugh, even the sisi wey dey speak English. As we dey laugh na so her hand just fall for my lap she come sq££ze am come ask me.

“You have been quite, are you not going to say anything?”
See me o. When I become political science student wey I go come dey argue inside car again. Make I just say something wey go make this sisi wey must touch my lap before she ask question leave me jor because I still dey vex.

“See eh, as long as na PDP, even if na goat comot for president im must win because so people like me na PDP die hard”
Big lie, I no even get party self wey I dey support, partyless pikin like me. As everybody plus me dey follow laugh, na so me ma come carry my hand put for the woman lap, I come discover say na mini skirt she wear plus her leg come smooth well well. Na so my preek just nod for my trouser, I just forget say I dey vex.