Must Read: The Silent Lover - Season 1 - Episode 60

7 years ago

Must Read: The Silent Lover - Season 1 - Episode 60

“And then…… I never saw her again.”
“Oh God, how awful.” Deeba was in a state of complete shock. Her vision clouded with tears. A sob broke from her throat and she pressed her lips together to steady their trembling.

“Well, as you can imagine, I lost my mind.” His eyes darkened to a deep stormy black.

She glanced at Aariz again. He looked decidedly uncomfortable, but he kept silent.

A waiting silence fell between them.
“What happened then?” She drew a breath and asked weakly.

“I was arrested on the spot and later sentenced to prison on behalf of a suicidal attempt and for injuring my servant.” His voice was barely audible now.

Her heart bled for him, and she clutched her hands to her b0s0m.

He met Deeba’s widened eyes and flashed a humorless grin. “You lool almost as miserable as I felt. But that’s not worst of it.” He shook his head, continuing in a subdued voice.

“Only then I realized what she had been for my parents, for my home, and for our servants.” He added.

Her eyes followed him as he walked over to the window and stood with his back to her. He braced one hand high on the wall.

“Our family doctor told me later, that my heart-patient mother and diabetic father were improving rapidly. He had never seen them that happy. She had changed the whole map of our family and our house. She used to give bed tea to my father in the morning and a glass of milk every night before he slept. She never forgot to give medicines to my mother regularly. Even my servants liked her for her nice ethics and behavior. She helped them alot, aiding and helping our gardener for his daughter’s marriage, giving extra vacations to the watchman when his mother got sick.” He swallowed, unable to go on.

“But the most hurting thing is yet to come.” He said huskily, as he walked back to his sofa and sat down as though exhausted.

When he turned toward her, his features were grave. As though the words were corvered with spines and being ripped out of his gut.

“Can you imagine what made Komal change her mind and come back to me?” He rasped.

Deeba couldn’t reply. She just stared at him in silence and shock.

“It was Zeest!”
A huge, gaping hole was blown through Deeba’s heart with those words, and she had an urge to scream out her anger at this man who’d hurt that woman so horribly. But she held herself in check, allowing Aariz to finish.
“Are you okay?” His voice was thicker, more uncertain than he would’ve liked it to be.

“Yes.” She whispered unsteadily. “I think so.”
“You know Deeba what I want now?” He asked. “I want someone to pick his shoes up and hit my head with them!”
They both knew there was little left to say.

“I don’t know what to say to you now. I have no more words that have enough memory.

There are no words. There is only loss.”
Still, her heart swelled with honor that he had felt comfortable enough to shre it with her.

“Why did you let her go?” She accused in a hoarse whisper, her throat raw and throbbing painfully with awful despair.

“Letting go has never been easy and holding on can be as difficult. Yet strengths measured not by holding on but by letting go.” Aariz took a shuddering breath and told her.

“You talk deep.” Deeba managed to say. “Sometimes, I understand only a little.”
“Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.” He told her with a mild hint of amusement in his black eyes.

“So you went crazy and sent her away and tried to hate her for what your mother did to you.” Deeba offered gently. “But you couldn’t hate such an innocent girl. Could you?”
He didn’t say a word, but the muscles along his cheek and jaw stood out in sharp ridges, and she caught another glimpse of pain in his eyes. Or had she imagined it?

In a low voice, he said, “She may be dead!”
“Or alive.” She said, shaking. “If she is, would you tell her you love her? You will, won’t you?”
He shrugged his powerful shoulders but said nothing.
“So, you never saw her again.”
“She might be out of my sight, but she has not been out of my mind for a single minute.”
A grin lifted his lips, but didn’t touch his eyes.

“You never looked for her again?”
He glanced at her as if waiting for her to answer her own question. When she didn’t, he said.

“I knew there would be no use.” He clenched his jaw, obviously fighting for control.

“Don’t sit down and wait for opportunities to come; you have to get up and make them.” It was a spontaneous remark from Deeba. She didn’t know know what made her say so.

Perhaps, she was too emotional at the moment.

Deeba closed her eyes and mouthed a silent prayer that somehow she was surviving. Her throat was closing with fear and hope but she fought the sobs that blocked her throat.

“Let her be alright.” She murmured soundlessly, wiping tears from her eyes.

“But……” Deeba stammered. “You just said, that she change Komal’s mind to get back to you?”
“Yes.” He gave a short reply, his facial unpredictable. “Komal returned from London, a month after my imprisonment after recieving a phone call from Zeest.”
He took off his glasses and began polishing them.

“She met me in the prison and told me that somehow Zeest had made her believe that I needed Komal the most and she was my only cure, the only treatment of my sufferings. She also assured her that I’ve left her and she’ll never come again between the two of us.” Aariz said, closing his eyes for a moment, memories bringing him back to the day when Komal had returned from London, only to see him, to find out how he was and to discover if he still…….

“Aariz, I’m back.” Komal had looked at him through tear-filled eyes.

The young voice had caught him and turned him around.

Aariz’s face was forbidding when he looked at her with weak expression. He looked much thinner and weak. He hadn’t shaved for days.

She was not good herself. Infact, he’d not seen her looking that bad since he’d met her first.

She had no makeup; her eyes were red and not just from her present tears. She was gaunt, like she hadn’t eaten or slept properly for sometime. Her lips were chapped. Her hair was dry with split ends and trendils everywhere.

Komal’s heart sank as he refused to listen.

This was not going to be easy. He wasn’t going to give an inch.

“What do you want?” He asked ungraciously.

“I need to talk to you. Please.” Komal pleaded softly.

His jaw tensed, and he shook his head. “I’m done talking to you.”
“Please?”
Implacable and stony-faced, at first he didn’t say anything, but finally relented and allowed her to speak few words. But, as soon as she opened her mouth to say something, he turned his back to her.

“I’m listening.” He said over his shoulder.

Komal gathered her courage and went to stand near the prison rods. She longed to run her hands freely over his back and shoulders, but she didn’t have that much courage and authority.

Her heart raced. Now that she was here, she didn’t quite know how to start. But she had to speak soon as he didn’t seem to be in a very patient mood.
“I love you, Aariz.” At last, she simply blurted it out.

His shoulders jerked as though he’d been taken by suprise, turning to face her, his hands gripped the hard iron rods harder.

“I’m too old for fairy tales, Komal.” He clenched his teeth. “A woman doesn’t keep turning away from the man she loves.”
Komal’s throat was dry. Gathering her nerves she reached near him and put his hand on his.

As soon as she touched him, he withdrew his hands so rapidly like a Unclad electric wire has touched him.

“What happened?” Komal asked in disbelief. “What’s the matter Aariz? You never act like this.”
“I don’t know.” He said, rubbing his hands.

In his mind he was thinking. “Zeest had never touched any man’s hand. She was so untouched. Did I deserve her?”
He then turned slowly and steadied his gaze on her, as if he was trying to commit her features to memory Alarm escalated to panic.
“Why are you….” She paused, the tears she refused to shed ached in her throat. “…..looking at me like that?”
“You’re wasting your time.”
He said, twisting his lips into a bitter line.

“But at least you can tell me if I still have some place in your heart.” Komal begged, blinking away the tears from her eyes.

He glanced at her eyes as if waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, he peered at her as if he was expecting her to withdraw the question. She lifted her chin and stared back, he turned away and said.

“Go away, I’ve nothing for you now.”
“Alright, if that’s the way you want it, then I should better go. But I want you to know that I still love you.”
As she spoke, her voice turned into heavy sobs. “I always loved you Aariz, and now, when there are no obstacle in our way, you’re telling me to go away.”
Everything that held her world in place had come apart, and there wasn’t one thing she could do about it.

Komal looked at him one last time with dead eyes. She just stood there, stone still, saying nothing, watching him. After a very short time, the pang of his emotional abandonment became intolerable, and she whirled from him and broked into a run. As she lurched away, she covered her mouth with both hands to staunch the sobs of disappointment and regret she could neither quell nor understand.

“My God!” Deeba’s soft hand curled into hard fists.

He avoided Deeba’s probing gaze. “The days following that were the most hectic I could ever remember.” He told her in a low voice. “The weeks of crying, days of yearning, nights of cigarettes and morning headaches were all behind me.”
“And then, I met Maulana Uncle. He used to visit the central prison, taking care of prisoners helping and educating them about the ethics and our religion. After Zeest, he’s been the most influential person in my life. Without him, I would never have become normal again.” He said, his eyes dark with pain.

“The….rest you know.” He breathed heavily. “That’s the whole story.”
“Until now!” She tried her best to smile but she couldn’t.

“Although most true stories don’t have ends, Deeba.” The soft sea breeze tugged at his hair as he left his sofa and came to stand near the room window. Deeba’s fingers trembled in her lap. His back was facing her, his hands thrust deeply into the pockets of his trousers, and his broad, powerful shoulders were slightly hunched. “But I suppose that’s the end of it.”
“Two more years have passed since then.” He said softly but strangely, without turning to look at her. “But my wounds are still the same. The pain has only increased with time.”
“Don’t you cry?”
He then turned slowly and fixed her with his eyes. Tears were in her eyes when she lifted her gaze to look again into his eyes. All the bitterness of agony of those two years were written in their pain filled depths.

Strange she should think of it now, when it happened over hundred days ago, but the memory of it was as clear as if it were yesterday.

“It’s more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly.” His voice was taut, tightly controlled.

“Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.”He went on stonily.

“Sometimes, I really wonder myself.” Aariz let out his breath in a long lingering sigh, not even aware that he had been holding it back. “If she could forgive me so that I could die happily. But, I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me. And that’s what I want. I don’t deserve any sympathy or human feelings.”
“Why do you say so?” She asked sadly.

“I was like an animal to her. Or maybe even animals are better. Atleast, they don’t betray you, some of them even protect you.”
On his remark, Deeba wondered and dreamt of what the future had in store for him. Was there any hope at all?

“Don’t think like this. You know, a true woman’s heart is so big, and I’m sure her heart is bigger than your sin, no matter what you’ve done.” Deeba said automatically, suprised at herself for uttering such comment.

He sure had a way with words that often sparked her own creativity.

A look of annoyance flickered behind Aariz’s glasses but he didn’t let it affect his face or gesture.

“Go now.” He said gently, tenderness swelling in his heart. “It’s late.”
Nodding, Deeba rose from the sofa. She had got enough. Lifting her purse and swinging it onto her shoulder she turned to Aariz.

What had made him so hard and antisocial, now she knew.

Love!
He loved Zeest! He really loves her, and he had let her walk out of his life. He had rejected her.

This wasn’t Komal, the woman for whom he had felt lukewarm affection and called it love.

This was Zeest, the woman who had stormed right into his life and heart. What he’d once felt for Komal had been such a pale imitation of what he now felt for Zeest that it would have been laughable if it weren’t so pathetic.

“But…before I leave I’d like to ask one last thing.”
“Go ahead.”
“What changed you?” Deeba asked curiously. “I mean you don’t look like the same Aariz anymore. I’ve heard that people’s nature is never changed. But here you are, with a totally changed nature and character.”
“What do you think?” Aariz said softly, grinning for the first time in the last few hours. “I’m suprised you still ask that question.”
“Tell me whom you love.” He said gently. “And I will tell you who you are.”