Forgetting Yesterday - Season 1 - Episode 26

5 years ago

Forgetting Yesterday - Season 1 - Episode 26

☆☆☆

Justin.

For the life of me I just don’t get how women’s brains work.

I almost grabbed her arms last night to shake her so she would start making sense.
“So let me get this straight….she wants to break up the fragile relationship the both of you are trying to build”
I nod my head at Justice’s question.

I finally confided in my family about my relationship with Sandra, well I confided in Tony, Justice and Sage.

They are taking it relatively well I’m surprised.

I thought for sure Sage will blow up but no he seems to get it, it seems as if he already knew I don’t know how that is.

“She probably thinks she’s doing me good, I don’t know what to do”
I say.

“Well maybe you should talk to her about it, I mean she has gone through a lot she probably thinks she is doing you a lot of good, I mean you have kids now she might be scared, she might think the next best thing is to leave you be with your kids, you just gotta set her straight”
Justice says and I nod.
“I probably screwed up our relationship by agreeing to the friends with benefits stuff”
I say.

“Its just that I was scared I wanted to have her in any way I could, that way was just the available one at that moment”
They nod their head in understanding and I frown.

“You guys are taking this relatively well, do you think…. no wait, I feel like you know something, what’s up?”
I ask.

Sage just sighs as he scrubs his hands down his face.

“It was pathetic watching you guys try to decieve us, I always knew Sandra had a crush on you, it was so obvious.

I didn’t want her to get hurt so I asked you if you like her too but you said no, imagine my surprise when I saw her sneaking into your room,
dude I feel like punching you right now, you know how disgusting it was watching my sister make out with you in the hallway? Ya, I saw you guys”
He says and I grimace.

“Yeah that’s true you both should probably get a room it was so awkward, Julliet and I saw the both of you making out, I mean there are many rooms in the mansion, use one”
He says with mockery and I flip him the bird.
He just chuckles.

“The both of you should probably stop the friends with benefits thing”
Tony says and that sobers me up pretty quickly,
“I know you’re right ”
He’s right.

“I’m going to tell her I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with, you think she will accept?”

I asked nobody in particular I just don’t know what to do.

“Trust me, she’s going to give you a hard time, trust me on that she will try to sabotage every good thing that comes her way and that includes you, its up to you make her see that she deserves happiness, no matter how small”

Tony says and I smile gratefully.

The nurse approaches us and my heart clenches.

All the joking made me forget what was actually going on, I stand up as she comes closer.

I feel the others stand with me too.

Waiting for any news about Jew was a punishment, I arrived pretty late last night and we have been camped out outside the recovery room.
“Mr Maxwells?”

The nurse asks and I nod.

“Your daughter is awake and asking for you, please follow me”
I almost dance in glee, I would have if I was a man into that stuff.

Am pretty pschyed though, not that I thought she would not wake.

Quite the opposite, I knew a child of mine is d--n strong.

I follow the nurse in.

********
Sandra.
Am having a bad dream.

One of my night terrors, I don’t know what has triggered this dream but am willing to bet it had everything to do with Justin.

In this dream I am running away from Mavin, am running towards the garage, I can feel my real self telling my dream self not to do that.
The garage is a dead end.

He can easily get you there.
But my dream self doesn’t hear me, I can hear my self sobbing in real life, please come back, don’t go there.

My dream self enters the garage and runs to the door, it’s locked, am scared, I turn and he’s there.

“You made me run after you?, You made me run Sandra?”

He asks calmly and I shake my head no, please please.

“Please Mavin, am sorry”
“I don’t think so, I don’t think you are sorry”
He’s unbuckling his belt.
God, no, I can’t take more of that.
I can feel my self crying in real life, I try to wake but I can’t, am too tied in this dream.
I begin to choke as the belt hit my back the first time.
I cry out.
“Don’t make a sound, take it like a big girl, shut up and take your punishment”
I cry harder in real life.

My dream self is bleeding from her arm where the belt cut in too deep, I cradle it to my self.

Mavin drops the belt
God no, please not the kicks.

He seem to read my mind because that is what he does.

His boot slams into my stomach and I cry out coughing blood, I curl into a ball and he slams his boot into my back.

“You are nothing, you are just a silly fool with no ties, I own you, you are mine, you will never get away because you are a waste, no body wants you”

He says this before slamming his boot into my face, I feel my jaw crack.

He steps away calmly and turns as he exits.
My dream self is crying.

My real self is crying.

“Sandra, wake up, Sandra….. Sandra!”
I sit up with a wail on my lips, I see that julliet and Magic and Kele are standing over me.
I immediately begin to cry.

“What’s wrong? Tell me, please”
Julliet says but I can’t speak, I can feel my self getting detached, shutting down my emotions.

I have to get away from this pain.

Oh God.

It hurts so much.
“Was it a nightmare?”
Julliet asks going to touch me.
“Don’t touch me!…..don’t …touch…me”
I say and she nods.

I continue crying and they stand helplessly.
My phone rings and I pick slowly.

I don’t say a word.

“Sandra? Sandra are you there?”
It’s Justin,
“Yes”
I say in a scratchy voice.

“Jew’s awake, she woke up a while ago, I wanted to share this with you and to tell you I can’t wait to see you and I love you”
He says and I blink.

My heart clenches, why does it feel like I should respond? Why does it feel like I have waited years to hear this?
“Sandra?”
“I heard you Justin, whatever”
I say and I feel an inner part of me screaming, crying, telling me to listen.

But I just can’t, I have numbed the pain, it’s there , it’s also gone , with it are most of my emotions.

“Sandra, i just said I love you”
He says softly.
“I heard you Justin, what do you want? A medal?”

He pauses for a while and that part of my brain tells me something is wrong, very wrong.

After a while he speaks.
“Always thought I would be the one acting like an a-hole Sandra, but I never thought it would be you acting like a b-tch.”
He says this and he ends the call.

I feel a sob ride up my chest.

I can’t do this again, what made me think, feel I could?
“Sandra….”
Julliet starts.
“Get out”
“Sandra….”
Magic starts this time….
“Get
Out! Get the f-ck out!”
I scream and they step back.
Fine!

They should all go, I don’t need anyone or anything.

I can be alone.

I was meant to be alone.

They exit the room and I lie back on my bed, curl into a ball and cry my heart out.
God.

I need you.
Justin, please Justin.
I cry for so long that it gets to a point where I could not tell where I ended and where the pain started from.