My Life Story - Season 1 - Episode 8

Episode 5 years ago

My Life Story - Season 1 - Episode 8

☆☆☆☆☆

Life seems to be meaningless to me, I wished I could just die and end the pains but death seems to be eluding me. I contemplated suicide but an old man once lived in our street and he used to say thatwoe to him that commit suicide.This statement always scares me because if I used to think that if I die now I would go straight to hell.
One thing that amazes me these days was that I never doubt the existence of God. But I think He has abandoned me. If he hasn’t, why would all these be happening to an innocent and brilliant kid like me? Is it a curse or an enchantment on me? All these and many more begin to spring up in my mind.



One thing that is very sure is that death follows me wherever I go. Hence, this short poem on my front door.

Life and death
Knightly interwoven like thread
I wish to live but all I see around me is death.
It even got to a time that I lose focus, I bare my mind that what will be will be, that I don’t need to stress myself.


I resigned myself to fate and continue drinking and smoking just to subsides my sorrow and pains.

I had a feeling that nobody want or loves me in this world but I don’t know how to end the life. If only God can give me one wish it would have been to end the world.
[]Life dealt many blows to me for the next eleven months which left many scars that are yet to heal on me.
I used to wonder why we human are not equal, why some people are born with joy and success and while some were born to struggle to succeed. Ironically, I fell in-between both categories. Here is a lad that was born with silver spoon but lost the spoon even before he can barely eat! I was born like most of my colleague but I wasn’t brought up like them. While they were being taken care of under the wings and tentacles of their parents with much love and caring, I was all alone in my own world learning how to survive and thrive amidst the thorns, trials and tribulations.
I remembered envying my friends who have their parents alive. This reminds me of one incident on a particular day. As usual, I just finished smoking when one of my friends, Temitope asked me to escort him to his mother’s cafeteria, on getting there he asked his mother for his food and she replied him “Where have you been since morning? Your brother and sisters have been doing all the chores and you are just coming now and with effrontery demanding for your food as if you are my parent”
“Leave me alone and just give me my foodabiI am your slave?” Temitope flared back at her mother and I knew that he don’t smoke nor drink alcoholic drinks. This stirred in me a jealousy that can’t be hidden; tears began to stream down from my eye and with effusion I slapped him.
“If only you are motherless, you would know how to address and cherish your mum.” I told him and left her mother’s shop to their bewilderment because only I and I alone can understand why I just did that.
I was about quitting and committing suicide one day when I bumped onto a Yoruba novelADITU-OLODUMARE, reading this novel changed my orientation that I could make it if I wish to and from this day I started planning on how to go back to school. Fortunately, a man came to our town and he opened a computer training center where I enrolled and later worked there for a while thereby saving some amounts which I used to purchase form into one school of health because my uncles have given up on my schooling due to the fact that I have written three JAMBs. Although I made cut off mark in two of the attempt, I couldn’t get admission to study my course of choice which was Pharmacy.
I eventually got the admission into the school of health to study Pharmacy-Technician but my destiny still prevails on my fate………
I resumed into the college after six years of my secondary school. I felt out of shape because lots of things have changed about me, though I can still comprehend my studies but I discovered that I am not as sharp as before as the saying goes, If I rest, I rust. I have rested for so long and I have rusted more than I can imagine. Smoking in turn have taken its toll on my brain, i could not comprehend little write-up again, so this made me to quit smoking and taking of alcoholic drinks.
I decided to turn on a new leave and things went on smoothly for me.