Endless Tear - Season 1 - Episode 14

4 years ago

Endless Tear - Season 1 - Episode 14

Mum and I sat facing each other in silence. I had gone through the hasty motions of ensuring that she had been well entertained, but it was unnecessary because Tina had taken care of that for me before I arrived. Mum had practically jumped on my shocked form when I entered the sitting room, then she had righted herself, considering my condition, I suppose. But after getting over the sudden rush of excitement I felt at seeing my mother, different emotions set in. curiosity was the first, followed speedily by hurt and anger. I had stayed in the house for several weeks and she had not thought it necessary to visit till now. My pregnancy definitely had some good impacts on my parents’ appearance, I noted when I saw her clothes. I could believe it if it were my father, but my mother? I thought she really loved me.

My mother was silent and I noticed that she fidgeted slightly with the costly Igbo rapper she had on. “This house is massive Amarachi. One can get lost in it”
Oh! Now it is Amarachi! I thought vaguely. I could count on my head, the times that my mother called my full name, and those times were really awkward. “Yes, it is really big” I replied stonily.

She swallowed. “I can imagine. Knowing your husband’s family influence, the size of this house is expected” she said, looking around as though fascinated, without meeting my gaze.

I nodded wordlessly. Unable to hold it any longer, I voiced my thoughts. “What are you doing here mum?”

She shifted uneasily. “So it is ‘mum’ now, no longer ‘mama’?” she asked.

I breathed impatiently. “Tina told me that ‘Mum’ is a more civilized way of calling your mother” I answered. “That is not the point. What are you doing here?”
She looked me straight in the eye. “Don’t I have the right to come and visit my own daughter?” she asked, as though offended.
I forcefully put my anger under control. It seemed that my life has become full of anger ever since I met Alex. Or rather, ever since I got pregnant for him. “You have the right mama; I just wonder why you took so long to recognize your rights. I am pregnant mum. Did you not think that I would need you? I have never been pregnant before, but you have. Many times, I needed motherly advices but you were not there to help me.” I ranted and my hurt became obvious.

She shifted again and her eyes clouded. I averted my gaze instantly, not wanting her emotions to get me off track. “I am sorry my daughter. God knows I wanted to visit you. I never wanted to leave you alone”
“But what mama? Let me guess, papa did not allow you.” I voiced the obvious.
She looked at me quietly for some seconds. “Don’t think I am a fool Amara. I know what you mean, and I feel insulted. I never taught you to be disrespectful, especially to your own mother” she said sternly and instantly, I knew I had gone overboard. I was hurt by my mother’s neglect but I knew without a doubt that she loved me a lot. She always stood up for me but everything changed immediately I got pregnant. She turned to something akin to a jelly fish. I had never seen this side of my mother, and I wondered what happened to her. She had never been much of a talkative and it was obvious that my dad lords it over her but it seemed to have gone terribly worse ever since I got pregnant. A single glance from my father was enough to turn her into an overcooked vegetable. I wondered what caused this but that did not take away the hurt I was feeling. I felt alone.
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“I am sorry mum”. Silence reigned again. This was definitely awkward. We seemed more like strangers, instead of the mother and daughter that we were and did not like the feeling at all. She looked at me for some seconds and seemed to grow much more fragile than she already looked.
“I am sorry I have not been here for you” she said with watery eyes. “I never meant to hurt you my dear, but I wanted to give you time to balance things with your husband. You would agree that your marriage was pretty unusual, I thought it would be best if both of you stayed together without any disturbances”
I swallowed. It was a very sensible explanation, I thought. One would expect that living with Alex would at least lessen the pregnancy tension; if only they knew the true situation of things. I stared at my mother and put a small smile on my face. Although it irritated me that she hadn’t visited, I couldn’t express how happy I was that her appearance was splendid. The clothes she had on were nothing compared to the rags she used to wear in the village. “You are looking good mum” I said truthfully.
She did not smile, she even seemed pained. “But you are not, my dear”
I swallowed.

“Amara; is your husband not giving you enough money to take care of yourself?” she asked. I noticed the tiny trace of anger and hatred that crept into her voice.
“I do not need his money” I said smoothly.
“But you should. Look at yourself Amara” she traced my body with her eyes. “You do not befit this house in these clothes. I can see that that husband of yours does not have feelings for you my daughter. You should take advantage of this situation, take as much as you want from him, so that you can leave his house as fast as you can”

Oh no! “Mama” I called, “did papa ask you to come here to deliver this lecture?” I asked in shock. This was the last thing I expected from my mother. “Were you not the one that taught me that money and wealth should not be allowed to cloud our senses? Have you forgotten those lectures mother? How can you ask me to do this?” My voice rose. I stood and paced and sat back down in total confusion.

She stood up and came to sit beside me, holding my gaze. “Amarachi, you are my daughter, and I know what is best for you. Yes, your father suggested this and I argued against it” considering her recent attitudes, I highly doubted that last statement but I kept mute, staring at my mother like she was some sort of stranger. “I argued it but immediately I got here and saw you looking tired and lean, I knew it was not a totally bad idea. True, I taught you the values of integrity and self-respect, but you have to admit that I never envisaged you getting pregnant out of wedlock for a man like Alex.” She swallowed slightly. “He is maltreating you Ama. You have to think of money now because you are not the only one involved. You have your baby to think about. If you leave empty handed, what would you use to raise a child? Tell me” she demanded fiercely.
“I never said I was leaving this place mama” I said dryly.