Dial - Season 1 - Episode 106

Episode 4 years ago

Dial - Season 1 - Episode 106

I miss you so, so, so much, my father! My life is messed up, I have no father, I have no friend. I am all alone in this empty space. I miss you so much that it is killing me. Pappy, I messed up, it seems, yes…but I did what you always said I should do…I lived free, and I lived on my own terms. I stuck out my chest, and I didn’t let no man push me over, and I sure as hell didn’t let no girl wretch up this heart.

And for that, I stand proud, and owe no one any apologies. Been times I thought about killing myself, sake I missed you to the core zone of my soul, but hey…I always got my hustle on, and I faced life like a soldier, through all the sh*t. Never gave up, like you always said. I believe, in a way, I made you proud, Pappy. I lived strong, I stood firm, and I breathed free! Like you said, I made mistakes…mostly with those girls, yeah, but let the man who is without sin cast the first stone at me. I breathe, and I walk tall!”
I stood up then, and turned slowly, then began to walk out of my Pappy’s room.

When I reached the door I stopped and spoke without turning.

“I’m going away for a while, Pappy,” I said sadly. “Leaving you for a while. I don’t know where I’m going, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I don’t know if I’ll come back here to be with you for a final time, or if I’ll die before I get back here. Whatever the case might be, I’m assured that soon I’ll be with you again, either here on this earth, or over there on the other side…and this pain, this terrible pain, this loneliness, this confusion, this hatred…it will all be over. I love you, I miss you. Goodbye for now, Pappy.”

I stepped out of my father’s room, and at the last moment before my body completely left the room I felt that faint air at the nape of my neck, and I paused suddenly, once again feeling the goose bumps on my body.

That was a favourite of his, standing behind me and touching the back of my neck gently, tenderly, lovingly.

I gasped and closed my eyes tightly, trying to prolong that moment a bit longer, feeling the nostalgic blast of love powerfully around me…but of course it was just a fleeting moment.
He was gone.

My Pappy was gone.

When I entered my living-room I programmed the house for a complete lockdown for a year. During that time, metal sheets would remain locked around the house. Lights would come on automatically at six o’clock each evening and go off at six o’clock each morning.
I descended to the garage, tossed my duffel bag into the backseat of my sleek, black custom-made Regera, modelled by Christian von Koenigsegg himself for half a million dollars.

It was a couple of hours past midnight now.
The world was deserted, the streets left empty.

I flipped touch screen buttons on the elegant dashboard of the car, and then the booming, wailing sounds of Bob Marley’s Talkin’ Blues filled the car.

I drove away into the night…and I kept driving into an uncertain future.

Come, death, dance with me…if you can, if you dare…because tonight, fu*k life!
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