Must Read: " Na Man You Be " - A Story By Flow1759 - Season 1 - Episode 2

6 years ago

Must Read: " Na Man You Be " - A Story By Flow1759 - Season 1 - Episode 2

Ola was now "in" not "on" a cab, a more jalopy cab than the one that almost ran over him.

"Where this motor dey go?" Ola asked a rather stupi'd question.

"Waterline! Garison! Park!!" the driver sang a song that sounded like "mammy w'ater! Garri! Spare part" to Ola.

"Mammy w'ater!" Ola whispered. He turned to see a m'ammy w'ater seated at his right. Turning to the left he saw the opposite of m'ammy w'ater, the reverse of mam'my water rather - water in the m'ammy.

*As a barrack boy i remember what it was when water flooded the mammy market of Ojo military cantonment- ugly. So i thought! Well thats just me thinking, not Ola.*

Ola admires ugly ladies than fine ones for no just cause, maybe it was becuase Funke his younger sister was ugly personified - or maybe not.

Ola admired the lady's nose! Her nostrils was like cutting two Geepee tanks into two equal halves and socketing both halves on a face.

Ola admired her eyeballs! Wait for it! Her eyesballs were not of the same size; the left one was bigger.

What about her ears? All Ola saw was his grandma's plastic hand fan.

The cab swayed from hitting an old woman walking by the road.

"You want to killing that woman" one of the ladies said.

"I know say e no go pass this ugly girl nahim speak this rubbish English" Ola thought. But to his gratest amazement the "beautiful ones were not yet born".

"Driver it is not gooding the way you are driving, u for almost killing that woman" Ola was highly dissapointed at the beautiful lady.

His love for her immidiately melted! Ooh my God!

The cab was close to GRA when a fart came.

"Who mess?" A guy seated in front asked.

"Na your papa mess?" Ola replied with the mouth of his mind.

"Driver give me winaa make i wind down" another guy said.

"But the glass dey down na" the driver replied. The fart was blinding i think.

"E no go better for the person wey messed" Ola blundered. Past tense of mess is messed Ade, Ola's friend had tutored him sometime ago.

It was the same Ade that told him "anytime wey you dey for where people dey and you mess just begin to dey curse the person wey mess, them no go know say na you mess".

The last time Ola farted in the presence of his siblings and cursed the "farter" the "fartee" responded "Amen!" when they were sure it was he who farted becuase they knew the fragnance of each other's fart in that family. Family bonding you would call that right?

They were so bonded in the family that they could tell the difference between Ola's and Yemi's fart - Ola's fart smells of Rotten egg mixed with palm wine while Yemi's smells of Kiwi Polish and Gutter every other days except on Sundays when the family ate Rice and stew; on that day it smells of Agbo Jedi the farmented one.

Agbo jedi was what Ola drank that morning before heading to Nnamdi's save his intestine is ripped as a result of the Beans and bread he ate the previous night. Spoilt beans and expired bread i think.

"My belle oooh!" he cried as the cab passed GRA traffic light.

"It is insolent that an adult mammal reduce his prestige and self reputation as to fart in transit, it is rather morbid!" Water in mammy surprised Ola.