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7 years ago

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I pushed in the glass door after two knocks.

“Hello Laura. I’m here now. How can I be of service?” I said
walking to her table.

She looked up from a magazine she was reading.

“Yes please. This thing just refuses to budge.

The system just hangs, I can not check my mails, the internet connectivity is zero
and I can not seem to do anything on it.” She said, with sadness
on her face.

“You don’t have to look so sad ma. I am here and like any one
would tell you, I don’t leave problems unsolved.” I said to her
with my sexiest smile.

She got up from her swivel chair, and sat on the sofa in the office
by the wall close to the door, carrying her TIMES magazine along
with her. I noticed that her network cable was unplugged and the
connection to the wireless router in her office was lost. I checked
the wireless switch: It was off. I smiled and turned it on.

Wireless Connection was restored.

I plugged in the network cable. Local Area Network connected.

I upgraded her Office Suite to MS Office 2007 and updated her
antivirus. After 15 minutes, I was done. I was about to get up and
allow her access back to her computer when my phone rang.

I checked the caller ID, Tunde. Tunde was a crazy dude who knew
all the hang out spots on the island. I picked his call:
“Fresh boy money maker. How you dey na?” I said
“Fine o. Where you dey go this night?” Tunde asked.

“I no get any where o. In fact na house I go dey because
tomorrow I get match against First Eleven FC” I replied.

“Guy, you go bone that match paroll o. I go con block you for
house around 10 this night” Tunde said
“Block me? Where? Why? How?” I asked
“Sharrap Mr. English. You know Insomnia?” Tunde asked
“I know am na. No be inability to sleep?” I replied
“You be big olodo. Na club for Awolowo Road Ikoyi jor. Anyways,
the party go hot and sure babes yapa, including Mercy and
Shontel wey dey like form for CDS like say them no dey sh.it.”
Tunde said.

“The same Mercy and Shontel?” I asked raising my voice.

“Yes na. And I don already tidy the paroll so don’t slack o” Tunde
warned
“Baba ooo. Tuale sir. I go come o. No shaking.” I said.

I had already factorized all the common terms. Cynthia was
seeing her period and was even going for vigil. She tried to
persuade me but I refused. So I was free to go out with impunity.

I was initially thinking I would sleep all through but now parol
don set. I was going out. I was excited.
I got off the chair.

“I am done Laura. Your computer is now in perfect condition.” I
announced.

“Hmmm. Let me confirm. please.” She said.
I stood besides her as she did a Powerpoint slide, typed a
paragraph on MS Word, and opened the company’s online portal.

After five minutes she was satisfied.

“Thanks a lot, Kevin” She said
“You are welcome.” I replied, moving away from her and heading
towards the door.

“So you won’t tell me what you did? In case it happens next
time? Or you like seeing my face?” She said smiling.

I walked back to her, the table creating a division between us and
put my hand in my pockets.

“It’s trade secret. But I don’t mind giving you some tips.” I said.

“Ok nah. Let’s start.” She said.

Just then I noticed a small sparkle in her mood, excitement in her
voice. But I was afraid to me5s up everything, because what
came to my mind was as perverse as a perverted mind could get.

I brushed down my lewd thoughts.

“It would not be today na. And there are a lot of things to catch
up on. Maybe some other time?” I said
“Ok sir. Anything you say.” She replied saluting me with her left
hand.

We both laughed as she thanked me again for helping. I told her
it was my job and I was glad I could help. I left her office and
went back to my cold room. I tried to call Eddy through the
Intercom but his line was engaged. I dropped the receiver after
two tries and leaned back on my chair.
“What if she really wanted us to talk? What if she wanted more
than just IT lessons? What if…”
All these crossed my mind as I kept thinking.
I decided to make a move. I opened my email and looked for her
name in the directory. I found it, clicked on it and sent her an
email:
“What are you doing tonight?”
I clicked on send and hoped for the worst tongue lashing in
history.

After 8 minutes, I was playing Zuma when I got an email alert.

Laura had sent a reply.

“No plans at all. You have something in mind?”
Laura’s reply was blunt yet inviting. I had not hoped for a
positive outcome from the message I sent to her. Now, I had to
make plans for her Friday. I sent a ‘please call me’ message to
Tunde as it seemed like she may have to be included in our
arrangement, VIP style. I waited and waited for Tunde to call me.

When it seemed like he was not going to call soon, I decided to
call Laura. I picked the intercom and dialed Corporate Affairs.

“Hello” came the sweet s*xy** voice at the other end of the line
“Hi Laura. My name is Kevin.” I said
“Oh. Kevin. What’s up?”
“I’m good. About tonight, emmm…emmmm….mmmm…” I
stammered. “I don’t think I have anything planned. I was actually
asking if you did, so that maybe you could invite me.”

She laughed softly, making me feel all the more ashamed.

“Oh well. My Fridays are usually very very boring. I have not
been out in a long time. And I was hoping I could catch some
groove this weekend. But it’s okay. I guess, I’ll just be alone all
myself and cuddle my pillow.” She said.
“You could go visit your man, you know. Or he could come over,
if you stay alone.” I said. I was testing the waters, trying to find
out if she stayed alone and if she had a boyfriend.

“Uncle Kevin. You have spoil finish o!” She said and continued.

“Anyways, I have a fiancée. But he is in the States. He won’t be
back for 5 months. And of course I stay alone.”
“Alright then. How is your computer behaving?” I asked
“It’s perfect. Since you are free tonight, what if you come over
and we start the IT lessons?” she asked.
I was taken by surprise. Laura was proving to be very blunt.

I was sure that we would not just be doing IT lessons all night.

“It’s a deal.” I answered.

She gave me her house address and we agreed I should be there
for 7pm. I sent a text to Tunde cancelling our earlier
arrangement.

At 7:14pm, I was in front of her gate in Mercy Eneli Estate in
Surulere. I pressed the bell three times. No answer. I knocked
and knocked on the iron burglary that barred her door. Sh1t! This
babe was not at home. I did not have airtime on my phone.

I wanted to send her ‘please call me’ but it just didn’t seem right.

I waited at the door for twenty minutes. Still no show.

I decided to leave. I may have to go out with Tunde afterall, I thought to myself. I got out of her street and walked towards the
estate gate. There was a recharge card seller there. I asked for airtime recharge and was fishing my wallet to get the money
when this crazy driver almost hit me.

The sweet Toyota Camry was just a few meters away from my legs before the driver managed to swerve in time to turn me into
a wheel chair user. I was livid. I swore and started cursing.

I was moving towards the car when the driver stopped and opened the
door.

It was Laura.

“So na like this you dey yab people, Kevin?” She said in pidgin,
smiling at me.

My heart melted at her smile and all the anger in me just
vanished. I smiled.

“Na so o. Why I no go yab? You wan turn me to cripple abi?” I
replied smiling. We shook hands. Her hands were soft and cold.

I told her I had been waiting for her a while and was already leaving. She apologized profusely and took my hand, dragging
me to the passenger side of her car.
“You see this girl?” She said loudly enough for both of us to hear,
“Na she cause everything oh. She just showed up in my house
and dragged me to the market.” She finished.
We all laughed and I got into the back of the car.
Laura introduced her friend as Kemi. Kemi was her childhood
friend and they had been together for close to 20 years. Kemi
was not much of a talker. We got to the house and I made myself
comfortable in the living room while Kemi and Laura took the
groceries into the Kitchen. Laura offered me a drink and chatted
me up a little.

At 8:45pm, I told her I was ready to leave.

“Ready to leave keh? Why?” She asked.

“You already have company Laura and besides, I would not want
to spoil a girls’night.” I said.

“You are staying over.” She said and got up.

She disappeared into the kitchen.

That night happened to be a most memorable occasion for me.