Must Read: Confessions Of A Randy Houseboy

7 years ago

Must Read: Confessions Of A Randy Houseboy

”Close your mouth!” Snaps madam. Why do you look so
suprised? All the time you have been 4king me you did not
realize I could get pregnant? It is yours becos my husband is
impotent! Did I invite you to my room the first time? Better face
it, you are going to have a baby soon and you mightv just have
murder on your hands too.”

By now we are almost at home and I am highly agitated! Different
thoughts swirl thru my mind! Etim, Baby, Madam, Acid water,
Prophet, Police, Doctor Who! What have I gotten myself into?

I look at madam again, she laughs and pats my thigh, ”Dont
worry Okon it will be o.k. You hear?” I nod numbly.

Some few metres to the house she stops and gives me a 1000
naira note.

” Buy mtn 750 for me and 200 for yourself across the road”.
I disembark with my mind still reeling and cross the road, I am so
engrossed in my thoughts I do not see the speeding truck. The
next thing I hear is madam screaming my name and the sound of
screeching tires. I try to leap out of the trucks path, I almost
succeed, almost but not quite. The trucks smashes into me and
throws me across the road. As I am in the air my whole life
flashes thru my mind. The last thing I think of is the baby in
madam’s tummy and darkness engulfs me
I seem to be floating above my body. A crowd has gathered, they
are all screaming . Madam is rolling on the ground tearing out
her hair. It is so touching. I walk up to her to tell her its ok, but it
is all in vain. I cant touch her, she cant see me , she cant hear
me. Suddenly I am hurtling thru a. tunnel. At the other end is a
long road and I start walking up the road. After a while I see
someone ahead of me and I quicken my pace to catch up. When I
come close I realize with a jolt that it is Etim!

”Etim!” I gasp. He spins around just as suprised to see me.
”Okon! So fast ? What happened to you?” I narrate the latest
events and he shrugs indifferently.

”All that is past now”. I nod in agreement amnd we both continue
down the road to our condemnation or redemption.

I walk behind Etim soberly. So I am dead? All becos of kitty. I
start wondering if I would make it thru judgement. I try to pray
for forgiveness, then I remembered I should beg Etim for mercy,
”Etim the food you ate was poisoined, ” He waved away my
explanations impatiently
”I know all that now. It does not matter anymore, just get ready
to face your judgement , I am thinking of mine too”.

After that we continue in silence. Not long after We hear a shout
and spin around someone is motioning me to stop. When the
person comes closer I recognise him, its oga!!!