Must Read: Life Of Uam Boy

6 years ago

Must Read: Life Of Uam Boy

No woman no cry. I wish Bob marley were to be alive, i would have dropped N5 in his account for that song. Truly, women were the cause of most of our problems. Another artiste that would have gotten my N5 was shaggy for singing ‘strenght of a woman’ but due to his oblivion, i’ll keep my money to myself. Why am i giving women this kind of hard tackle? The reason isn’t far fetched.
I came to the class boiling, i would have bet my life that i was coming to kill vivian. I reached the class and just as i saw her, my countenance changed.

I was just beginning to understand what my government teacher used to stress when he talked about ‘bottom power’.

But truth be told, we are blessed to have beings like them. Am confused right? Hell yea!!! I usually am, whenever i take ‘left over’ garri.
“Kelvin?” vivian called out my name and waved her hand across my face to bring me back from dreamland.

“Yea, you were saying?” i asked her. I knew what her question was but i just wanted to buy more time. Time for me to think, any thing i say right now would define my future ‘relationship’ with vivian. If i still had any plans to tap from that wealth that changed philip’s life, i had to be careful.

“I said, do you still love cynthia?” she asked. It was a straight forward question that deserved a straight foward answer but i was going to rigmarole a little bit.

“Who?” i asked feigning ignorance.

“Cynthia, your girlfriend ofcourse” she replied.

“how did you know her name?” i asked her. I dont Remember telling you her name”

“have you forgotten that day i had an accident and you came to visit me? You introduced both of us that day” she informed me.

“oh!! forgive me, my brain is suffering from epileptic power supply from the stomach” i joked and she laugh. Just when i tought she had forgotten her initial question, she asked again.
“so do you still love her?”
“why do you ask?” i inquired
“Well, i noticed you guys are not as close as you used to be, hope there is no problem?” she asked. Since when did vivian start caring?
Well, if obj could go back and study c.r.s, i dont think anything is impossible.

“There is no problem, thanks for your concern” i said.

“k, are you boarding a bus” she asked.

“No, i want to see someone at fst” i told her.

N:B fst means food science technology. If only they shared food in that department, i would have been a regular visitor there.

I wasn’t going to see anybody at fst, i just didn’t have enough cash to board a bus, not to talk of boarding a bus with vivian. She would want to pay for the transport fare but i didn’t want to ‘fall my hand’ in front of my coursemates.

I was used to trekking so why would today be an exception. All the bikemen in uam knew me to the extent that i was coming out of lectures one day and a bike man was asking me ‘fine boy you dey go?’

Another bikeman by his side just tapped him and said

“na that one you dey call? No waste your saliva o, even when them dey kill people last year, other studentsi the run Enter bike him still dey trek. You no see him head? Na sun chop am o”.
I was the chairman, trekkers association uam chapter. It got to a level that i even dreamt and saw all the bikemen in uam protesting. They held placards with different incriptions ranging from ‘kelvin, machine chair dey bite you for yansh?’ to ‘bad belle wey no want make we chop’. The one that touched me the most read, ‘kelvin just climb machine one day, i go begin carry you for free’.

All those once na tori sha, trekkin continua, victoria asata.

Vivian boarded a bus and left while i brought out my phone, plugged my earpiece and started playing ‘cool as ice’ a song by dj jimmy jatt featuring iceberg slim and iceprince.

Imagine a whether of 32°c and i was playing cool as ice. I had this bad choice of music for different occasion.

Imagine, we went to visit a friend of mine in his sick bed and when we wanted to pray i started singing ‘over the river jordan, we shall meet’. Imagine the way he looked when he heard me singing a funeral song for him.

Just last week, i went for a traditional weddind in lafia and just when the bride was supposed to give her husband his palmwine, yours faithfully, who happened to be the dj started playing ‘going to heaven’ by olamide. When the wife was giving the wine to the husband, olamide was busy shouting ‘rest in peace aboy’ ‘rest in peace dagrin’.

The kind of look the groom gave me could kill. But olamide smoke before he sang that song o, the theme of the chorus was Different from that of the verse. Well, i’ll leave it to chistar to do a music review on that song.

I kept on trekking when i saw this group of tiv boys chasing bush rats.

[B] “Come join us na” someone invited me. On a normal day, i would have refused the offer but i just had to see the fun in chasing rats so i joined them. If only i had the eyes to see the future, i’ll definitely have refused that offer.