Must Read: Confessions Of A Randy Houseboy

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: Confessions Of A Randy Houseboy

I have finally decided to kill Oga.He is just a nuisance! Madam
says he is worth 200 million and she has said she will give me
50 m after the job. 50m! I would kill my mother for that amount. I
have been thinking of how to do it. Poison would be easy but I
am afraid there might be an autopsy. Or maybe I should break
his neck and push him down the staircase. After discussing with
madam we both decide it was better to consult a professional, ie
a native doctor. Madam says she knows one! I wonder what he
has been doing for her!


I make love too madam daily now. On Sunday we both go to see
the native doctor and after listening to us he says he will give us
a substance that will kill him but no doctor would detect it. We
pay him his bill, 20k, and he gives me substance to put in his
food. I tell madam to do it but she refuses.She says she cannot
kill her husband and that I must do it or no 50m for me!


It should be easy. Afterall I have been the person feeding him all
this while. The plan is to give him and rush him to the hospital.


The native doctor assured us the poison takes an hour to work.


So after giving him we would rush him to the hospital. Better for
him to die there in their care. That evening I prepare ogas
favourite meal. Pounded yam and bitter leaf ogbono and I mix the
stuff into his soup. Madam is so excited. She watches me
intently as I prepare the food. Then with hearts pounding we
mount the stairs with the food, oga’s time has come!


I open the door to his room with madam following me closely
and we get the shock of our lives! Oga is sitting on the bed fully
dressed. ‘’Honey’’ he says, ‘’I am late for work. Don’t worry
about the food!’’ I am astounded! He talks to me normally and I
realize the fool has recovered but he has lost his memory! Not
everything, but he can’t remember what made him have a stroke!



I almost drop the tray of food! Madam quickly adjusts and goes
over to hug Oga. I am still standing there with my mouth agape!


Just then loud and sudden pounding from the gates galvanize me
into action! I rush downstairs drop the food on top the sink and
rush to open the gates, and who do I see? The withe garment
barefooted prophet! He is clutching a heavy cross and Bible. I
look as guilty as a burglar with one leg thru the window. ”Where
is your master?” He demands. I want to see him, I had a dream, I
saw a vision!”
”Oga is not well’’ I counter.


‘’I must see him! Tell him the man of God wants to see him!’’ By
now He is shouting at the top of his voice and I have no choice
but to let him in. I follow him apprehensively. Oga and madam
are coming down from the staircase, he is unsteady on his feet
and madam is supporting him. When the Prophet sees him he
starts to shout ,
‘’Hallelujah! Praise Jahovah! Jahovah Jireh!’’
I am scared and withdraw into the kitchen only to see Etim
gobbling the last morsel of pounded yam and Ogbono soup!!!