Must Read: Life Of Uam Boy

6 years ago

Must Read: Life Of Uam Boy

The walk to the eatery provided me with the opportunity to think. I had been taking actions without thinking and that has led to many troubles, this time it’s going to be different.

It was time to put an end to this blackmail from Amaka.

I continued thinking and trekking till i reached the eatery. It was one of the famous eatery on campus. “CEDAR” was boldly written at the top. I walked in majestically and quickly looked around like someone who came for a business meeting. At every table, there was always a guy and a girl. I began wondering if it was february 14. But unlike february 14, the guys where smiling.

My eyes finally caught Amaka, she was sitting alone at a corner of the eatery.

She was dressing coperate, like she just got a bank job. Difference was, her first three bottons where open revealing her huge bulbifera(b0:0bs). Those b0s0m that were my key to #2000. “Don’t worry, when i get your time we go talk” i said to myself.

Apart from her b0s0m that suddenly carried out imbibition, the remaining body was the same.
Her face looked like a nusery kid’s drawing book; it was a mixture of colours. But why do girls like mixing colours na? Maybe jumizie would help us out.

Amaka stood up and gave me a hug, firmly pressing her b0s0m on my chest. Electric currents where sent from my chest to all other parts of my body. Only jnr.kelvin understood the meaning of the signal, it just nodded in joy. I quickly withdrew from the hug before that young man disgraces me.

Amaka was a good actress, imagine someone blackmailing you and hugging you. Well, even judas kissed Jesus when betraying him. I walked stylishly and sat quickly in other to hide the bulge in my trousers. Amaka smiled, trying to look cute but she looked the exact opposite.

Amaka had a bottle of malt in front of her,she wanted to order for something for me but i declined, saying i wasn’t hungry. I didn’t reject the food because i wasn’t hungry, i rejected the food because of what happened to me the last time i came to this eatery. It was the effect of that day that am still suffering. Yes i just ate chicken that doesn’t mean i was filled. In our world, you have to fill your stomach to the brim, just incase you dont see another food to eat. That was a lesson i learnt from musa, The okosisi1 of mama alaja food joint.

“Amaka, lets just get to business” i said to Amaka who had been seriously smiling in a manner she probably thought was seductive.
Okay, i just called you so we could hang out is there a problem with that? She asked still flashing her teeth.

“Amaka, i want you to just leave me alone. Stop terrorising my relationship” i said with so much anger in my voice. Vains where already bulging out of my forehead. Anytime i get angry, my vains had this funny way of bulging out, when it gets to that level, you know i am very angry.
The last time my vain bulged like that, i killed 20ants.

“Kelvin calm down” Amaka tried to calm me down. I relaxed a little bit since i was in public.

She Brought out her phone and started pressing some keys.

Kelvin hope you still remember my house? she asked.

“Amaka how can i ever forget you house? Do you think i can ever forget what happened the day i visited you? I asked her my own question.

She concluded whatever she was doing with her phone and kept it back in her purse.

That’s good because i would like you to visit me again” Amaka concluded.

You are not even serious i said and walked out if the eatery.

I was fuming with anger, i had just wasted my precious time with that girl. I’m going straight to bed i said to myself. I reached my compound to find a group of angry youths in my compound.

I sensed danger, i was about turning back when mike my neighbour shouted [B] “make una see the person wey steal the fowl o.”

It’s a very bad thing to have an angry mob pursueing you. Every nigerian is a law enforcement agent. That is why when you go to the market and you hear Ole! Ole! Ole! Please dont even try to run because when people see you running, you would be mistaken for the thief.
The next thing you would start hearing is bring tyre, bring fuel. If not for the Aluu case that happened to bring some of these issues to the limelight, somepeople would still be unaware of the “hidden police” we have in our society.

The faces i saw in my compoud were like those of an angry spartan army.

“See the person wey steal the fowl” i heard mike shouted.

I had watched movies on traitors, read books on traitors and even withnessed bretrayer but this one was different. This was the person i had been living with since i started the session.

This was the same person i just finished eating with.

As a sharp guy that i was, i just arranged my cloth and walked confidently towards the crowd.
The worse thing those villagers would do is to hand me over to their chief and i will be made to sit on the ground while being judged for the whole school to see.

“Whats happening here” i asked as soon as i reached. The plan was to speak plain english so as not to look like a tout.

Where the fowl wey you steal? Their leader asked.

“Am not a thief and would never be a thief, why are you guys accusing me?” i asked with so much confidence, my hand was in my pocket.

I was just praying that those boys would not involve charms. I Hated charms.

Him the lie o, the time wey him dey steal am, i been the tell am make e stop e no gree.

Mike wasn’t even a good liar. I made a mental note to treat his Bleep up at the right time.

So you even see am when him been the thief am and you no fit stop am? The leader asked.

“The best way to catch a thief is to search his apartment” i said knowing fully well that the chicken was still remaining.

Na true dis guy the talk, make we search him room, a short guy replied.

“Guys make una calm down first, rat die inside my room, the thing the smell una no go like enter o” mike tried to discourage the youths but they pushed him out of the way.

I was outside with mike and some of the youths, two boys went inside to search the room.

Moments later they came outside with the pot.
Before i could say jack, a hot slap landed on mike’s face.

Jesus!! Mike so you are a thief? So you are responsible for all the missing items in this compound? I asked in mock suprise.

My compound was very notorious for stealing.
Since no one had been caught, it was safe to place it on mike’s head.

“Chairmen, dis one na the fowl wey my mother give me from house o” mike said in defence.

Don’t worry, when we reach chief side, you go tell am. The leader spoke.

“Chairmen una dey carry dey chicken ma go?” i spoke pidgin for the first time. The leader gave me a look that made me promise never to ask silly questions again.

The pot was placed on mike’s head, and he was dragged like the thief that he was, to the Court of the chief.

Only God knows the kind of disgrace that he would face.

I went inside and slept peacefully.

***********************************

The mr and mrs fresher pageantry was just a day ahead. Philip had planned very well, he had already bought new clothes, shaved his hair, read some current affairs e.t.c

Vivian was also trying so hard to prove her worth as a manager.

Arrangements where already made on to convey us to and fro. Cynthia didn’t come as promised, i just couldn’t believe she had changed. I just pray philip wins tomorrow, his victory party would help alot.